Transforming Aging and Illness Into the Path
Venerable Thubten Chodron shared with me that my practice now is to age with grace--with gratitude for all I have done and have been given--to let go of my youth peacefully and fully.
My Various Life Experiences, Roles, and Identities I Now Release
I have reached out to my community and world at many levels--physically, emotionally and spiritually--in a wide diversity of ways. All of these roles and goals start from "My Mission Statement," developed from the ideas in the book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Steven Covey: My Mission Statement
Summary of Outreaches often within my Wellness Profession:
My Work at Kaiser Permanente
Outreaches to My Own Neighborhood, the Greater Portland-Area Community, Portland-Area Schools, and the Country
My Own Wellness Business: Light-Hearted Love – Whole-Person Health
Television Shows
Recovery (Alcohol, Drugs, and Eating Disorder) Outreaches
Creative Outreaches
Emotional Healing Outreaches
Physical and Social Fun
Spiritual Healing Outreaches
In compiling the information for this list, it became apparent to me that I have been creating my personal and professional life according to compassionate and wise responses to my own personal and family suffering, as well as developing the resilience and perseverance needed to keep going despite struggles and setbacks. I wanted to share what I had learned with the world and help other people.
I have also created free holistic wellness websites that use mindfulness, meditation, and many Buddhist principles to help people plant seeds of well being in their own lives: www.balancedweightmanagement.com and www.nutribob.wordpress.com . I share links from these sites in the upcoming discussions that expand the dharma teachings.
My dietetic training and my full participation in the dietetic community and the world at large have immeasurably enriched my life.
Now I am learning that it is time to let go of my dietetic career and open up to a new and different world.
I met the Dharma in 1987 and became Venerable’s student in 1994. The Dharma saved my life! The Lam Rim teachings provided perspective and a path for me to understand my life and my human journey and to learn how to be of service—not just in this precious human life, but in all of my future lives—until all beings obtain enlightenment.
These last two years were the most difficult I have encountered in the recent 30 years. What happened? I had just retired from teaching. Many of my friends were ill and my in-laws experienced a series of medical and emotional emergencies. I tried to support everyone as much as I was able but I got overwhelmed. My left knee got chronically painful and needed to be replaced; my right foot got severe hammer toes and experienced pain—I needed custom orthotics. Then my ears started to ring and I got dizzy. On top of that, my left foot started to shuffle and I had walking difficulties which were diagnosed as Parkinson’s disease! ( https://www.apdaparkinson.org/ ). Holy petunias! I got the “extended warrantee” but my body was still falling apart! I learned that I actually may be mortal!
I asked myself: How will I use this ripening of karma in my life to nurture deeper wisdom and make this into spiritual practice for me? I contemplated my life situation and what life had taught me so far and I set my intention for my new journey:
If it’s better for me to be ill,
I pray for the blessing of illness.
If it is better for me to recover,
I pray for the blessing of recovery.
If it’s better for me to die,
I pray for the blessing of death.
--A mind-training tradition prayer
I am encouraged to remember that my attachment to my story can hinder healing and spiritual evolution: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMKYInNDw4g
I vow
to bloom where I am planted 
and to let
go of my own suffering (and stories that I tell myself).
I also
plan to...
I wanted to manage my “earth suit” (body) and at the same time not create a “solid self.” I started to look within and ask myself who is sick? Am “I” my illness? Can I just keep my awareness and presence as I notice what arises in my body, mind, and emotions? Can I let go of rejection, impatience, and fear? If I do, what happens to my mind and emotions?
I chose to set my motivation: May whatever symptoms that arise in my earth suit be a teaching for me. May I use it to deepen my compassion and wisdom that may be a blessing to all beings in every realm. I remind myself that I am a caretaker of the earth suit that my consciousness is associated with in this life. The body is not who I am in totality.
To help me nurture joy I
started a daily gratitude practice for what was in my life right now.
What’s not wrong? I
realized that life was asking me to slow down and feel the sacredness of each
activity that makes up my everyday world: Was I alive today? What supports my
life force? What parts of my body work well? Did I have a bed to sleep in? Did I
sleep well? Did I have clothing and was able to wash and dry it? Was able to
dress myself? Did I have transportation to get food and needed supplies? Did I
have food to eat, refrigeration, and electricity? Could I fix the food? Eat it?
Was I able to take part in some physical activity—hiking or walking, swimming,
dancing, gardening or other favorite activities? Do I have close friends to
support and to love and to share my life journey with? How about a Dharma
friends and community? I am able to be generous with my time and resources with
the world to bring joy and healing. Do most of my senses work well—hearing,
seeing, tasting, touch, and smelling? Wow! I am very grateful and joyous.
I started by being a voice for my medical needs:
Be Your Own Medical Advocate.
At first I noticed an increase of not just physical pain and limitation but emotional pain—I experienced increased fear, anxiety, confusion, and frustration—as a response to the changes in my life. I had never experienced these things before. I was 65 years old and had previously been healthy for many years.
I found it essential at this point to explore specific dharma teachings and focus on them to increase my wisdom and insight. For example, I listened to, studied, and contemplated training for peace, love, joy, contentment, wonder, and enlightenment as I used the following:
1. Four thoughts that turn the mind to dharma practice: Precious
human birth, impermanence and death, the truth of karma, and the sufferings of
life on earth.
2. Use a daily gratitude practice: Gratitude List
3. Four
foundations of mindfulness as I practice deep mindfulness:
Four Foundations of Mindfulness
4. Five remembrances:
The Five Daily Remembrances
5. Tonglin
(taking and giving) practices:
Eight Verses of Thought Transformation
6. Study
Liberation from All Obstructions (Zen
reflection).
7. Transform the self-critical and fearful inner voice:
Self-punishing Inner Voice
8. Explore and do analytic meditations on:
what is mind? What am I really? How do I best process
all of my life experiences using the lens of the dharma? I take time to study
the Lam Rim teachings.
9. I will use the Telephone Meditation Practice: Telephone Meditation Group
10. I will practice:
Relax, Observe, and Allow
each day
11. I reflect on The Three Principal Aspects
of the Path:
https://thubtenchodron.org/2010/04/renunciation-bodhicitta-emptiness/
12. I will remember to dedicate my illness and personal challenges for a meaningful life that benefits all beings: Dedication for a Meaningful Life
I also went to counseling and emotional healing groups: http://www.balancedweightmanagement.com/Articles.htm#Seeking_Support_and_Counseling as well as to 12-step recovery groups (AA and OA): 12-Step & Recovery Resources .
I have been exploring quite a dharma and emotional healing curriculum! It really proved the value and truth of Buddha’s and Venerable Chodron’s teachings.
While undergoing all of these challenging life experiences for the last few years (I am now 68 years old), I didn’t compulsively overeat, drink alcohol, or take drugs. Nor did I lose my precepts or abandon the precious Dharma. I am SO-O-O grateful that I turned to many teachers and teachings for help!
I also contemplate the kindness of the countless people who have blessed my life by their support during my recent illnesses and throughout my entire life.
I remember to send out healing and love to the whole interconnected web of life on Earth each day: GLOBE MEDITATION PLAYBOOK.pdf
Daily, I set my intention that all human, garbanzo, and kidney beans benefit
from my practices!
Thubten Chodron has posted this article on her site: https://thubtenchodron.org/2019/01/life-rejoicing/
With deep appreciation and gratitude,
:-) Bob